Sydney Wheeler
Freelance writer
About Me (she/her)
Hi, I'm Sydney- a freelance writer and English teacher. I am passionate about travel, acro yoga, weight lifting, yoga, reading, nature, family and human rights. I have a Bachelor's degree in Biology from Ramapo College of NJ. I'm certified as a yoga teacher, personal trainer, women's fitness specialist, and teacher of English as a foreign language. I'm a lead writer for CupidsLight, a dating and relationships website. My writing expertise is focused on dating, relationships, and wellness.
Let me help you use the power of words
My Services
Blog Writing
Engaging and high quality articles for your website
Copywriting
Straightforward copy to bring attention to your business
Ghostwriting
Thoroughly researched writing on any topic
Sample Work
How to Sync to your Cycle
What do you already know about your menstrual cycle? You likely know when to buy tampons and chocolate, plus the PMS symptoms you dread the week before you start bleeding. Your menstrual cycle actually has 4 parts- each one bringing different strengths and weaknesses that you can harvest or nurse to properly nourish your body at all times of the month. If you fulfill the needs of each phase, you can limit those pesky PMS or period symptoms and take advantage of the strengths of other phases.
Menstrual Phase
Most people assume the menstrual phase as the entirety of a woman's cycle. Menstruation begins the first day you start bleeding and typically lasts 5-7 days. The blood and other juices that come out of your vagina during this phase are the endometrial layer of your uterus, which was prepared by your body in hopes of carrying a baby. The progesterone level in your body plummets and causes most women to feel anxious, moody, emotional, and often weak. Remember that this is due to a huge fluctuation in your hormones and you should never judge yourself when feeling poorly! Honor this hard time for your body by spending extra time with yourself. Take a relaxing Epsom salt bath, journal about your emotions, take a nap, or whatever your body is asking for. Low impact exercise is ideal now. There is no need to push yourself to do extravagant exercises. Restorative yoga, walks, or other slow paced exercise is perfect. Most women crave sugar or other comfort foods during their period. Answer to your body's cravings, but in moderation. So have a few cookies, but also make sure you are properly nourishing your body during this time with lean proteins and extra veggies. Honoring your body's need for rest, nourishing food, and low impact exercise can significantly reduce your period symptoms.
Follicular Phase
After you finish bleeding and exit your menstrual phase, your body once again begins the process of preparing for an egg in the follicular phase- which typically lasts about 7 days. Your pituitary gland releases Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) to encourage the follicles in your ovaries to mature (release an egg). Your estrogen and testosterone levels rise during this phase which aids in improving your mood and boosting your energy. This makes your follicular phase a great time for strenuous exercise if you feel keen. The increased testosterone will also increase your libido (not quite the peak yet) and make you more willing to be assertive or take risks. Increased estrogen increases sociability and suppresses appetite- make sure you eat nutrient dense meals as you will likely be eating a little less than you do during other phases. Most women have a power of self-sufficiency during this time. Harness this power through planning projects or problem solving.
Ovulatory Phase
Most women feel they are at their peak during ovulation, which adds up as estrogen and testosterone levels peak! This is a more intense version of your follicular phase, so you will likely feel even better and more confident during your 5 day ovulatory phase. Embrace these strengths through networking, advancing your career, socializing, and dating. Your ovaries will release an egg during this phase that will survive 12-24 hours within your uterus. Since your body is hoping to get pregnant, you will certainly have your highest sex drive during this time (and thank you testosterone for that). Chase after your heightened sexual desires, but be sure to use protection as this is the phase of your cycle in which you are fertile. Your energy will peak during this time- aim for all the physical activity you can. It is essential to eat foods with healthy fats during this phase, as well as vitamin C to promote healthy ovulation. So stock up on avocados, pour extra oil on your salad, and indulge in some sweet peppers or oranges.
Luteal Phase
Your ovulatory phase slowly fades as you enter the luteal phase- levels of estrogen and testosterone decrease and progesterone increases during this 10 day phase. This change in hormones causes your body and mind to wind down. This makes the luteal phase ideal to get things done at home, plan more chill activities, and even nest. You're probably familiar with the part of this phase that comes after the glow of ovulation: PMS. You start to crave carbs, feel bloated, have headaches, tender breasts and feel anxious or moody. Don't beat yourself up over this, just practice good self care. Take extra time alone to watch your favorite movies, get a massage, and relieve your stress in any way you wish. Nourish your body with healthy foods- bitter vegetables with high vitamins and fiber. If you counter your cravings for sweet things with a fibrous fruit or prune, your body will thank you later. High levels of progesterone cause constipation in many women. Eat extra fiber and supplement with magnesium to remedy this. Progesterone drops as you start your period which typically puts an end to the constipation, but introduces those dreaded "period poops". This high fluctuation of hormones can also cause sleep troubles, so give your self plenty of time to rest and relax. Low impact exercises such as yoga, barre, pilates, and walking are ideal to keep your body moving while lacking full energy. The better you treat your body the week before your period, the better your body can handle your period!
What do I do?
Nourishing your body through diet, exercise and rest to properly sync yourself to your menstrual cycle can improve so much about your body and cycle. Women can stop dreading the approach of their period and rather honor it as another part of their body's amazing cycle. It may seem complicated at first to follow so many "rules." Start slow, by tracking your cycle for 3 months and giving your body what it deserves during this time. There are apps to help you tune into these phases. Communicating the phases of your cycle to your partner can improve the relationship as they understand you better and help to take care of you accordingly. Owning a uterus is a great responsibility, listen to yours and harness her power!
Invest in your yoga journey
this week only, 10% off the 15-year yoga mat. Luxurious hand woven cotton is eco-friendly, and so comfortable.
Connect to yourself and nature when you practice on this soft and eco friendly cotton mat. Begin your yoga journey with a mat that will last you ten times longer than a traditional mat- guaranteed with a 15 year warranty.
- easily wash your new mat like any laundry
- double sided to give you stylish options
- hand woven cotton- soft when its new, softer with years of love
Take care of yourself, your yoga practice and the planet at a limited time discount
Shop now
Edging 101
What is edging?
Edging is a method of controlling an orgasm from yourself or a partner by maintaining a high level of pleasure, but stopping before a climax. Edging is practiced by stimulating yourself or a partner until an orgasm is about to peak, then suddenly halting stimulation or significantly decreasing it.
Why edge?
Edging is a recipe for more intense orgasms, a fun game to play with a partner, a practice to increase libido or a remedy to offset erectile dysfunction. If you are looking for more game time in the sheets, higher libido, increased communication in bed, new spice with a partner, or more intense orgasms (I mean who doesn't want that?) give edging a try.
Powerful Orgasms
If you continuously bring your body to the point of an orgasm but stop just before the peak, you will have increased blood flow to your genitals. This will in turn cause a more powerful orgasm once you finally release. There is also a mind game of wanting something you can't have. Isn't food so much more satisfying if you're extra hungry? Isn't a cold water extra refreshing after spending a hot day in the sun? This same rule applies to an orgasm! If you're at the point of begging for it, it's going to be damn good.
Remedy Erectile Dysfunction
Edging has been used as a remedy for erectile dysfunction, low libido, and premature ejaculation long before it became a trendy bedroom game. Would you practice for a marathon by running sprints? Increased awareness and control of your body along with increased blood flow will help to balance your sex drive and remedy issues with erections or ejaculation. At least it can't hurt to try!
Power Play
Edging is on the spectrum of kinky bedroom behavior, but a type that doesn't inflict pain on either partner- actually it inflicts more pleasure. So, if you are interested in spicing things up in the bedroom, but you're not really into BDSM or other extra spicy sauces, edging is a perfect way to heat things up. Not only will it get the edged person be hornier, the one providing stimulation will have control of their body and orgasm.
Communication
You and your partner will have to communicate about what feels good, when an orgasm is coming, when to stop, and other techniques along the way. This is a fun way to increase your communication in bed, learn more about how to pleasure your partner, and trust each other enough to give up control.
Release Expectations
Have you ever focused so hard on reaching an orgasm that it actually prevents you from orgasming? Or even if you manage to finish while pushing for it, they seem to never be as enjoyable. If you release the expectation of having an orgasm and in fact prevent it, the peak will be far more explosive. So if you find yourself pushing to orgasm, slow down and enjoy the ride along the way by edging yourself there. You can also gain control and confidence from edging to ease bedroom anxiety!
How do I do it?
The easiest and most popular way to try edging is while masturbating. It is easier to learn how to control your own orgasm before you pass the torch to someone else to try. This way you can learn just when to decrease or stop stimulation, how many times you like to be pushed, and how your body reacts. Once you are ready to try it with a partner you can discuss it beforehand or once you are feeling it in bed. Personally, if I find myself near an orgasm that I don't want to reach yet, I will pull my hips away from my partner and tell them I'm not ready to finish. Controlling your own orgasm during sex can be even more effective, but its fun to teach your partner how to edge you too! To edge your partner, you should definitely ask beforehand. Knowing how close you can get someone to orgasming without actually doing it is a vital practice in edging. If you get your partner to start orgasming and then you stop, you can totally interrupt their orgasm and ruin it. Once you learn how their mind and body react, you can be in total control of their pleasure. So try to edge yourself next time you masturbate and have a convo with your partner about it. Unlock those super power orgasms!
How to be Fluent in 5 Love Languages
A vital part of every relationship is exchanging love and appreciation for one another- romantic or platonic. Everyone gives and receives love in their own unique ways through 5 main categories. In a book by Dr. Gary Chapman The 5 Love Languages, he explains how everyone prefers different methods of exchanging love within relationships. The 5 love languages are acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and receiving gifts. Most people have a primary language, but most people enjoy a combination of all 5! Wouldn't it be lovely to fluently speak all 5 love languages to give your relationships all the love they deserve?
Acts of Service
Acts of service are a way to show love non-verbally by doing something for your partner that you know they will appreciate. People with acts of service as a primary love language feel most loved when a partner puts their own time and effort into showing their love. This can be preparing your partner's favorite snack, taking their car for an oil change, or having coffee ready for them if they wake up after you. Acts of service can be harder work compared to other love languages, but it is worth the effort to show your love. Here are some ways you can show love to someone with acts of service as their primary love language:
- Household chores: typically split between partners, but you can pick up an extra shift of washing the dishes or walking the dog for your partner. Bonus points for doing a chore they especially dislike!
- Prepare a meal, snack or coffee for them- if you know they have limited time on Tuesdays at work, you can prepare a lunch for them to bring to work. The act of service along with attention to detail will go a long way
- Clean up their belongings after a long day- unpack their work bag, pick up the laundry they left on the floor, etc.
- Plan something they enjoy- prepare a home cooked meal, book a reservation at their favorite restaurant, sign up for a yoga class over the weekend (or another hobby they enjoy)
- Perform a kind gesture- draw a bath for them, open the door for them, help them put their jacket on, buy their favorite snack when you stop at the convenience store, etc.
Quality Time
Every relationship requires quality time with one another, but some people depend on it primarily to feel loved in a relationship. The love language of quality time revolves around being together and giving one another your undivided attention. Time dedicated to spend with one another without interruptions of technology, the outside world, or your own inner distractions. People who primarily exchange love through quality time need their partners to intentionally set time aside for them to enjoy each other's company. Here are some tips to practice quality time with a partner:
- Give your full attention- no technology, maintain eye contact, etc.
- Actively listen- focus on what they are saying, ask insightful questions, don't offer advice unless they ask for it, etc.
- Plan a date- set a night aside to enjoy a favorite restaurant, go for a morning walk, take a bath together and ask all about their day, etc.
- Plan regularly- dedicate yourselves to having coffee together every Sunday morning, watch a movie together once a week, go for a bike ride every month, etc.
- Turn mundane activities into quality time- have meaningful conversation while grocery shopping, sing together passionately on a car ride, or put your phone down during dinner to turn your attention to your partner.
Words of Affirmation
People who give and receive love through words of affirmation see a great importance in what you say- as well as what they say to you! They need to hear how you feel about them and how much you mean to them. Words of affirmation is the most common love language and revolves around verbal expression to your partner. These people often take quite an interest in those around them, as they truly care what others are thinking or feeling. They are always sure to compliment your new shirt, ask a friend how their sick relative is feeling, write thank you notes at the holidays, and remember details from the lives of others. This is how they express their love to others, and they crave the same in return. Don't worry, you don't need to be poetic- there are plenty of simple phrases that will mean a lot to your lover. Showing you care through conversation is also a heavy factor here! Here are some ways you can express love to someone that receives through words of affirmation:
- "I'm thankful for..." your presence, this moment we are sharing together, your sense of humor, etc.
- "I love how you..." make me smile, style your hair, care about animals, etc.
- "It makes me happy when..." we hold hands, you laugh, you speak passionately about this, etc.
- "I'm proud of you for..." working so hard, being so brave, handling this situation, etc.
- Handwritten notes- a simple "Have a great day" if you leave before them in the morning, a birthday card, a poem you found online, or a full-blown love letter!
- Actively listen when they are speaking with eye contact, facial expressions, and insightful questions to show you are interested
- A simple "I love you" even several times a day
- Ask how their day was, how they are now, how their project at work is going, or how their sick family dog is. Showing an interest in them verbally is so important!
Physical Touch
People with a primary love language of physical touch give and receive love through physical body contact- intimate or non intimate. They like to be physically close to their partners to give and receive love through physical affection. This love language is often perceived to revolve around sex, but it is much more than that. Sex is often an important part of a romantic relationship for these people, but non-sexual touch is necessary for their relationships as well. Even small gestures like holding hands, rubbing your partner's back, or playing footsies under the dinner table can go a long way. Physical touch is often one of the easiest ways to show love and can create emotional intimacy for both partners. If you are not a touchy person or if you want to learn more about showing love to your partner that prefers physical touch, try some of these ways:
- Give meaningful hugs to show extra love, cheer them up, or greet them
- Rub their arm in a group setting, while you are both busy, etc.
- Kiss their cheek by surprise
- Give lots of cuddles (the oxytocin will be nice for you too!)
- Skin-to-skin contact by rubbing their neck, holding hands, touching their leg, etc.
Receiving Gifts
A primary love language of receiving gifts is often misunderstood and seen as materialistic. However, it is the sentiment of the gift which conveys love. When you give your partner a gift to show you were thinking of them, they feel loved and cherish the physical item to remember it. Every time they see or use this gift, they will be reminded of the love you have for them. There is no need to spend big money on gifts for your partner, and it doesn't have to be all the time. Here are some ideas and tips to start showing your love through the language of gift giving:
- Small, regular gestures- buy their favorite snack when you go grocery shopping, buy their coffee in the morning, bring home a pastry from the bakery by work, etc.
- Notice something they need and get it for them- new socks, refill of soap, longer phone cable, etc. It is highly practical and shows you care!
- Prioritize special occasions- think ahead before anniversaries, birthdays and holidays to make sure the gift you give them shows how much you listen and understand them.
- Be as personal as you can- get creative and make something, lend a sweatshirt that smells like you, buy a copy of their favorite book you spotted at the flea market, pick a flower in their favorite color from the garden, etc.
- Listen and act- if they keep talking about a band they love, find some tickets. If they keep mentioning a new cafe by work, buy a gift certificate.
Communicate with your Partner
Most people relate to each of the 5 love languages, but resonate with one over the others. It is useful to know your own, and communicate with your partner to learn about theirs. Remember that in the same way someone receives a lot of love, they can easily be hurt in this way as well. If your partner's love language is words of affirmation, be careful not to say something hurtful in your next argument as it will stick with them more. If their primary love language is receiving gifts, make sure to mark their birthday on your calendar! Speaking love languages in a relationship is useful to cater to your partner's needs and maintain a fulfilling relationship. Figure out which language is yours and ask your partner what theirs is!
Your girl called- she wants to do the dishes and the dirty
Domestic twist on the classic kamasutra dice. Need motivation to vacuum the living room? Roll these dice to reveal your chore and reward. Fold the laundry in exchange for a lick, tickle and kiss.
Exchanging pleasure has never been so productive. Order now just in time for the holiday
Let's clean naked
Selfless Listening
Providing support to a partner during stressful times is a vital part of any relationship. It is important to learn what your partner needs when they are under stress so you can learn to support them, and you can both make sure that the external issue doesn't internalize within the relationship. One of the most common arguments within a relationship begins with external stress of one partner, coming for support, and receiving something which fuels their fire- even if this is not the intention. Next time your partner comes home from a stressful day at work, and they need to let off steam, try asking them "What do you need to help with your stress?". Perhaps they are searching for a solution from you, they need space to be heard, they need time alone, or a fun distraction from their busy mind. You should never give unsolicited advice to someone that isn't in a space to receive it. Ask what they need beforehand to safeguard your relationship and fertilize it with proper support to your partner. This will limit confrontation within the relationship and offer support to your partner!
Key Ingredient: Space to be Heard
Many people vent to a loved one looking to be heard and vocalize the stress they are enduring. To give your partner space to be heard, listen and validate their feelings. Try to say something supportive such as:
- "I am so sorry you have to deal with this"
- "I hear you and your stress is totally valid"
Listening and validating someone's feelings without giving your opinion will allow them to feel heard. Giving feedback or advice when someone is not in a place to receive it will likely inflict more stress on the person venting. Be a good partner and offer selfless support without stepping on toes!
Support is a Cycle
Everyone has the right to be stressed out sometimes, and knowing how to selflessly ease the stress of your partner is a magical skill to have in a relationship. Your partner will appreciate the shoulder to cry on and they will learn to give the same support to you. Healthy communication and management of emotions is vital to any relationship. Open up a space to be heard in your relationship to stop inflicting damage due to external stress!
Stop Mentally Interrupting
Do you ever have your response prepared before someone is finished speaking? Of course, we all do this. Now, how does it feel when someone does this to you? Rather than listening intently to what someone is saying, we tend to mentallyinterrupt them by thinking of our own response. Channel all your focus to the person speaking to you to be a selfless listener. When you give your full attention, you will notice their body language, choice of words and tone more deeply. These cues are vital information to interpret what they are thinking and feeling. Truly listening and picking up on nonverbal elements from someone is an unmatchable way to get to know them. This practice also allows them to feel more heard- further deepening your connection. Try to leave a pause in conversation when they stop speaking to make sure they are finished, and to allow yourself time to formulate your response. Give your loved ones center stage to get everything off their chest!
Selfless listening is a vital part of being a conversationalist and a support system. Offer space to your loved ones to be completely heard- giving them maximum support and strengthening your relationships. It may be a test of your patience at first, but soon you will obtain a beautiful quality in yourself!
